Long day.
Two hard midterms.
Yet, I'm estatic; overflowing with happiness.
I don't understand.

What's the difference?

I've found the source of all joy.
An ocean of happiness.
It never dries up.
My lows are high.
My highs are higher.

"I have told you this so that my
joy may be in you and that
your joy may be complete."

Complete it is.
Never ending. Multiplying.
The greatest joy I've ever known.
Infinite joy.

What could be the source? - you ask.
It's Him - I whisper.
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

Father
Crowded mall
People rushing by
A sea of clothing rushes past my face
I hold tight to you -
Not wanting to lose you

We walk and walk
The people don't bother me now
I see other kids
I long to leave your side and play

I wander over to the blonde boy
He pushes me
We chase around in circles
I look to see your smiling face watching over me

Suddenly, it's a sea again
You're nowhere to be found
I'm bumped and pushed
All the friendly faces are gone
Tears fill my eyes - I'm truly lost

I've found a quiet corner
Tucked away from the madness
Lonely, confused, scared, angry

Where could you have gone?
You were just here -
I held so tight
How could you have left me?

Tears fall from my face
Soon, my sleeves are soaked

A passing shadow stops
Suddenly, I'm in your arms
Your warmth comforts me
It soothes my sould and the tears slow

You've found me

You're here

Untitled 3
Deserted - All alone - The hour is near
You earnestly pray for the cup to be removed
But you know it's God's will
The mob comes - Betrayed by a kiss
Their lies condemn you
Fist upon fist rain down on you
Your body is bruised and swollen
With a thorny crown and a robe they mock you
They fail to realize who you are
The lashes come
The bone tears your flesh into ribbons
Your spine and ribs are visible through the blood
Yet, you never say a word
You struggle and fall under the weight of your cross
They finally make another carry it
You're laid down - unbearable pressure on your torn back
The splinters forced into your bleeding flesh
Your arms are stretched out
The nails pierce your flesh - Attaching you to the wood
You're raised - the sun beats down and burns you
People jeer as they walk by - shaking heads in disgust
"Save yourself" they yell - If only they understood
The sky darkens and the bleeding finally stops
You don't have much blood left to lose
Your pulse is faint and the world is spinning
Your mouth is dry and breathing is excruciating
With every breath you die a thousand deaths
Finally, you cry out, "My God, My God"
The crowd becomes a blur - You're starting to fade
The pain has gone beyond unbearable
You let out one last cry of anguish and breathe your last
Only the poor and those who despised you are there
You've been deserted - utterly alone
Yet, this was your finest hour
You saved mankind - If only they knew

The Trees
I went walking. I veered off the trail I was on in favor of the dark one, covered with vines. Despite the darkness, it seemed inviting. I desperately wanted to go down that trail. So I did.
The first few steps were fun. I was having a great time. Then, some light shattered through the foilage. I was blinded and confused. I tripped. My ankle was throbbing with pain and I could no longer walk. Yet, the trail drew me further.
I crawled along; convinced this was the right way. I heard voices telling me to turn back - that this would lead to destruction. But what did they know? I was fully convinced I was right and they were wrong. After all, they were only voices.
Soon, the trail widened. I saw this as proof. I was going the right way. Then, from behind me, a light radiated. I was so used to darkness I couldn't recognize it for what it was. I wrestled with the light. I didn't want it invading my happiness on the trail.
I was hurt. The trees around me reached out and grabbed - preventing the light from taking me away. They cut my arms and I bled profusely. I could feel the strength leaving my body. Finally, I surrendered to the light. It had overwhelmed me. There was no way I could fight against it.
I awoke in a bright place. People were nearby, uttering words I couldn't make out. I was healing, my strength was returning. No longer did I desire to be on the dark trail - I enjoyed where I was. I felt loved and accepted.
The light was so good. It brought warmth, healing, love and mercy. The light didn't care that I had strayed so far. I came back. That's all that mattered.
I now understand the light better than before. Yet, there's still more to learn. I'm out walking again. But I've got a friend walking with me. The darkness isn't going to lure me that easily again. I love the light and want to remain in it. I can see in the light - I only thought I could in the darkness. The light watches over me - keeps me from straying into the dark trail again. Those trees still haunt my memory.

Island
Lost little girl
Trying to find herself
Searching everywhere
She's trying to fit in
Making friends and feeling comfortable
But, that's not who she really is
Who is she?
Not a clue
She goes through the motions
Her mind rages on
Thoughts swim about
She's lost in the river of herself
An island - a refuge - appears
Rest and relaxation
Time to be her
Serious and crazy
Learning and growing
Finding her way
The image of herself becomes clear
The mental rapids die down
She's found herself on the island
The river poses no more threats
She knows who she is.

Little Big Horn
Battle of Little Big Horn
Native Americans finally win
Yet, the only tribute is to the Army
Rage boils inside
We killed them - took their land
Yet, we're heroes
Anger. Shame. Disappointment.
Acknowledge our wrong - Rectify it
They deserve better
We can learn from them
We squelched entire civilizations while sipping tea
Our hands are red and theirs are gone.
Rage boils inside.

Wendy
She's with me all day
Though we're miles away
The taste of her when we kiss
Out on the road, it's her I miss
Her cute, embarrased smile
I could gaze at her for a long, long while
We let each other see inside
To the secrets that we hide
Up late for an intimate talk
Wandering the forest on a private walk
I'll love her always
In countless ways.

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